Earlier this month, my wife and I went to visit my family, so they could see Cayden for the first time. After talking to my grandparents, I was informed that my grandfather has never changed a diaper with two children, several grandchildren and many great-grandchildren. Now one could argue that my grandmother exaggerated his lack of involvement in the diaper changing, but that seems doubtful. During most of my grandparents lives, especially when they were taking care of a family, he worked in the local factory and his own farm, while she stayed at home to take care of the children. Because my grandfather provided for the family financially, it was assumed that my grandmother would be the primarily caregiver. Now this is no way a bad reflection on my grandfather's role as a father or grandfather. Within his generation, he was not expected to do that type of caregiving after a long day of hard work.
Now, we come to this generation. It is interesting to see that as a father, I am expected to change diapers. If I assume that it is the 'woman's' job to do the diaper changing, I am considered a bad father and bad husband. Even if my wife is able to stay at home with our son, I will still be expected to change his diaper when I am home. Oh, how times as changed. While I am not upset that being a good father and husband may require some diaper changing, I am merely making an observation between the differences of my grandfather's generation and my generation. Also, since my father is caught in the middle of this juxtaposition, some fathers of his time were more involved in this specific type of child caregiving, while others were not. This has been translated to me as something expected; I wonder what fatherhood will look like for my son or his son (if he has one), once their generations embrace fatherhood.
dr
Monday, January 28, 2008
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